Every parent has thought to themselves “how do I stop tantrums?” And for most of us, handling our kid’s tantrums can feel impossible – but that’s not the case. In our episode with Mariko Fairly from Parenting Fairly, Understanding the Why Behind Child’s Behaviour, we learned some of the secrets to dealing with our children’s tantrums, and we’re here to share her prevention strategies with you! 

Want more tips from Mariko and other parenting experts? Join the UM Club and listen to our episode with Mariko so you can learn how to prevent tantrums, calm tantrums, and stop tantrums fast! 

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How to Prevent Toddler Tantrums

How do you stop tantrums before they start? 

Learning how to prevent toddler tantrums is so important for us as parents, which is why we’ve put together this list of tips from our exclusive UM Club Episode with Mariko Fairly!

Daily One on One Time

Wondering the best way to stop tantrums fast? Let’s start by preventing it first! Spending some one-on-one time with your child in the morning and evening, really just sitting with them with no distractions, is a great way to help prevent tantrums throughout the day. 10 minutes can seem like a lifetime in a parent’s day, but it will be so beneficial (to both you and your kid) to spend a few minutes just playing, laughing, or sitting together. Don’t worry about changing any behaviour here – just sit and enjoy your time, the goal is connection, not correction 🙂

Positive Phrasing

The way we tell our kids to do something really impacts how they react to it. If you want to calm a tantrum, give your kid a roadmap for what you want to see. Tell your child how you want them to act and what you want them to do, not to stop what they’re doing. 

Here’s some examples: 

Stop making that noise >>> Can you please go into your room if you’re going to make that noise? 

Don’t stand in the garden >>> We play in the yard, not the garden

Stop throwing your food >>> If you don’t want your food you can put it in this no thank you bowl

Don’t hit your brother >>> Use your words to tell your brother to stop. 

The way we say things really impacts our kids – think about how you would react to someone saying “stop that right now” versus “I get it, let’s do this instead.” Handling toddler tantrums can seem really hard, but something as simple as changing our wording and demeanor can go a long way. 

Give Choices

Being able to make decisions is another HUGE thing in stopping tantrums, and it also helps set our kids up for the future! If we can’t give our kids what they want, letting them decide something else will help to let them feel more in control. As Mariko says in our UM Club episode about dealing with tantrums, if your child wants a cookie but they’ve already had one, offer them a choice between a banana or an apple instead. Keep these choices simple; your kid can still feel in control, but won’t be overwhelmed by too many options.

Praise Desired Behaviours

Positive reinforcement is another big thing with kids and adults alike, so make sure that you’re telling your child when they’re doing a desired behaviour. We want our kids to react well when they can’t have something, so if they ask nicely for something instead of immediately throwing themselves to the floor and having a tantrum, let them know they did a good thing! Calming tantrums starts by reinforcing all the good behaviour, so that the good behaviour can keep happening!

Be Playful

Through all of our children’s tantrums, we have to remember that they’re just tiny humans who don’t quite know how to express themselves yet. Everything we do to correct our kid’s behaviour will be way more effective if we keep everything light and easy. 

They don’t like brushing their teeth? Try going on a hunt with the toothbrush to find dinosaurs or wild animals. 

They don’t want to clean up their blocks? See how many they can throw straight into the basket. 

They don’t want to walk to the car and get buckled up? Try racing to see who can get in and buckled the fastest. 

Keep all our interactions as fun and easy as possible and you’re sure to help prevent future tantrums.

 

This was just a taste of everything we talked about with Mariko, so make sure to go check out our UM Club episode with her! Managing tantrums is not impossible (even if it can feel like that sometimes), so never feel discouraged by a bad day or a public tantrum. 

We’re all learning more every day as parents, and Mariko is here to help us with that learning! Remember to breathe and pause before doing anything, and we’ll all make it through this together.

Thanks again to Mariko Fairly from Parenting Fairly for all this great content, don’t miss out on our exclusive UM Club episode for more helpful tips and information! 

Related Content

Daily Mantras For Mamas Who Need a Break

3 Keys to Help Siblings Adjust to a New Baby

Understanding the Why Behind Child’s Behaviour

Supporting Our Child’s Socialization with Mariko Fairly

Parenting Spirited Kids with Progressive Parenting Experts Hannah and Kelty of Upbringing