Communication is a massive part of any relationship, and this is definitely true between husband and wife, and long-term partnerships. We’ve all been in a situation where all we want to do is have an open conversation with our partner – and all we find is someone who’s super resistant to having that conversation. Want to learn better marriage communication and how to communicate better with your husband? Look no further than this blog post!
If you want even more great tips on communicating with your husband, make sure to check out our exclusive UM Club episode with Nick Matiash from The Evolved Man! He gave us some info on the male perspective and how we can get our husbands to communicate, so go give it a listen and join the UM Club today!
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Why do I struggle to communicate with my partner?
When we’re trying to ask our partner tough questions and they don’t respond how we want them to, it can often feel really personal and like maybe they aren’t comfortable with us. What we can forget is that there’s a LOT of stigma around how our male partners are allowed to express emotion.
Society might put a lot of pressure on women (and we definitely have all felt this) but it also really affects our male partners and how they react to emotional situations. Our husbands’ lack of communication with us is probably not because they don’t feel anything, but because they don’t think they can express it to us, or aren’t sure how. To sum it all up, the patriarchy can really mess things up for all of us.
How do I communicate better with my husband?
When it comes to communicating with our husbands or male partners, one thing is really important: patience. It’d be great if change happened overnight but for the most part it doesn’t, and we have to keep that in mind when we’re working on our marriage communication. Remember that everything takes time, and the more time we give it the better it will get.
5 Tips for better marriage communication
Lead by Example
The more that we show our partners that it’s okay to express emotion, the better our husbands will feel communicating with us. Our husbands can act just like our kids sometimes; if we want them to do something, we need to show them how to do it. Remember to be open with how you’re feeling and act how you’d want them to act (even if it feels really frustrating in the moment).
Give Space – Don’t Push too Hard
Giving space can be super helpful when you’re trying to make it through a tough conversation with your husband. Like we said before, patience is so important in growing your communication skills, and allowing for some breathing room around any conversation will let your husband have some space to process. Sometimes our partners need extra time to be able to figure out their emotions, or even find the right way to tell us how they’re feeling. Let them come to you when they’re ready to talk.
Be a safe space when they are ready
Once they are ready, let them tell you how they’re feeling. This might seem really straightforward but it’s actually something that can come up a lot. The patriarchy (yup, it’s causing problems again) might dictate how men are supposed to act, but it also tells us women how we’re supposed to react. When the men in our lives come to have a conversation with us and they want to open up, we need to let them. Continuing to grow that connection will help strengthen your communication and how comfortable you both feel opening up.
Try and put yourself in their shoes
In the heat of the moment it can seem like the impossible task to put ourselves in our partner’s shoes. Trying to understand where they’re coming from, even if it might seem ridiculous, can really help us in our communication. Remember, marriage is a partnership at the end of the day, and we need to work together and be understanding to keep a successful team.
Use soft starts
When starting any conversation about something difficult, use soft starts (a great term we got from relationship expert Sheina Schochet in our UM Club episode about strengthening communication in your relationship). These are things like saying how you’re stressed and would love some extra help, instead of going straight for the “you need to help more.” Soft starts are a great way to help in any communication you’re having, whether with your family or friends. Make sure to check out our 5 Tips For Strengthening Your Relationship post to learn more about them!
Marriage communication doesn’t have to be a crazy difficult thing, and we’re hoping this post helped you think of some new communication strategies! If you want to know more about the male perspective and understanding our male partners, make sure to check out the full UM Club Episode that inspired this blog post!
Related Articles:
Supporting Men’s Mental Health and Communication
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How Couples Can Use Erotic Blueprints to Increase Intimacy and Connection in Their Relationship
Assertive Communication: How to Get What You Want, With Skill
