On today’s episode, I’m talking to Kaila from My Aligned Purpose about starting your journey into financial freedom! This episode covers not only why it’s important to start dealing with our finances, but also why it’s important we remember to treat ourselves to things. Kaila and I had a great chat, spanning everything from taking your finances on a date to what the best at-home nail set is, so I’m sure you’ll love reading, listening, and watching the episode! As always, enjoy, and I can’t wait to see you in the UM Club Hangouts!

Guest Expert

We’re Nicole and Kaila, two passionate coaches who work with women entrepreneurs to accelerate their purpose, potential and profit. Through our Coffee Club Membership, virtual courses and transformative coaching experiences, we support you to take action and get aligned with your true purpose. Join our community and expand the boundaries of what’s possible for your business, your life and your money.

In This Episode We Talk About

00:46 – How Kaila got started learning and teaching people about money.
05:48 – A new way to save money.
11:39 – Beginning to deal with debt – where you should start.
17:27 – Dating your finances – scheduling time to manage your money.
22:16 – Sharing your finances.
29:00 – The taboo surrounding spending money.
31:42 – Dealing with jealousy and “must be nice” comments about money.
33:52 – Spending money on yourself.
39:28 – Tips and Resources

Resource Links

This post contains affiliate links. 

My Aligned Purpose website
My Aligned Purpose Coffee Club
We Can Do Hard Things Podcast
We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachael Rogers
Beat the Bank by Larry Bates
You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
Color Street Nails

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I first was introduced to Kaila and Nicole, and was immediately gravitated to just unapologetically talking about money, finances, women making money, and just feeling empowered to do so. So I would love to hear about how you really got started into all this – were you always passionate about money? Or did it kind of spark later on?

Oh, great question. I was clueless for a really long time, until almost I was 30. I had credit card debt, and I had a student loan, and I owed the CRA money. And then I decided once and for all, I was gonna get my shit together and be wealthy. And I didn’t know at the time what a stand I was taking for my gender, for the bigger picture, and later on for my daughter. But at the time, I was just sick of living in the cycle of always trying to keep up, and I said, “you know what, I’m not going to do this anymore.” And I decided that’s it, I’m building wealth from here on forward. And that was back in 2014. And then I started paying back debt, saving, and we bought our first condo in Vancouver. And once we got our real estate investments rolling and our market investments rolling, then I decided I’m going to go to coach school at Royal Roads, do what I really love and talk to people all day, and work with them to make their lives better. And here we are. In a nutshell, talking about money.

I love that, and I love how you, Nicole, are very real and relatable in terms of the money journey, because I find a lot of people that might teach about finances- i t feels like their journey is kind of unattainable. They were already set up for success in some ways. And I like that you’re very honest about debt, because that’s something a lot of us have – I too have debt and credit card debt and student loan debt – and have been starting to go through that shift to actually take charge of it, be thankful for it, and work past it.

Yeah, absolutely. If it’s a roadblock, and it’s preventing you from moving forward, then let’s address it. Let’s actually talk about it. Just like everything you talk about in Unapologetic Mom Club, and that’s with everything being behind the scenes, feeling like you’re alone.

Yeah, and it’s so nice and reassuring to hear that other people have those kind of scary experiences too, and it makes it feel a little bit less scary.

Yeah. And that you can build your network further, you can be wealthy.

So was there a big turning point that kind of did this for you, where it just made you say I have enough? Was it one particular moment, or just kind of kept going and just tired of the stress?

I was very tired from the stress. I actually learned about the FIRE movement, which is the financial independence retire early movement. And I have the type of personality where I learn something and it clicks in my mind, and then I go all in on it. I was really into running and I didn’t just jog 10 km around the block, I’d be running marathons. So I got really into the financial independence retire early movement, and then realized, okay, I understand the concept. But it doesn’t work for my life and my feminine energy in practice. It doesn’t work for me to cut off every single thing that I want, and just funnel as much money as I can into assets so that I can grow those and then I can retire by the time I’m 30, let’s say. 

So that’s how I got into it. I thought the movement was really cool. And I thought the possibility that you don’t have to work forever and you don’t have to do what your parents did seemed really cool. And then in practice I decided, “actually, I think I’m going to buy a house and have a mortgage on it, and pay that off over time. and have the lifestyle that I want, and service mortgage debt according to what’s manageable for me.” And so I kind of look at investing as a game, kind of look at money as a game. Like how can I build the numbers up and win, and still have an awesome life – still get manicures, still have takeout coffee when I want it, and have the experience of becoming a landlady, have the experience of having a short term rental suite in my house, have the experience of doing my own market investing while living. You know what I’m saying about financial independence retire early? It kind of seemed extreme to me. And so I want to do it my own way.

I love that, because I feel like that’s something that has just been jammed down our throats our whole lives. If you want money later in life, you need to save as much as possible, you need to cut out as many things as you can so you can save that money. So I really like how you’re teaching a new way, in a different way, how you can enjoy those things. So can you tell us a little bit more about that, and kind of the change and the differences?

Yeah, there’s two ways you can do it. I mean, there are a billion ways, but let’s just simplify it here. You can spend less money, or you can make more money. And so truly, what I’ve come to learn is that the more you play small and the more you stay confused about money. And the more you say, “oh, okay, I have this offer for the world. But I’m nervous to make it because some uncle of mine is my friend on Facebook and has been commenting on things, so who am I to have this business that I want to put into the world.” So the more you succumb to that, to the cultural pressure to do as you’re told and toe the line, and do whatever everybody thinks you should do. Keep your nine to five job and get your benefits and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah – the less you get to decide what you want to do. I mean, that comes with – the more you say, “okay, my neighbors are getting a kitchen reno,” for example (they’re not, I’m just saying, for an example) you may say “I also want a kitchen reno, so I’m going to put that on my line of credit.” The more you dig yourself into things, because that’s what other people are doing, the less freedom you have

So yes, it is about saving, it is about setting up your baseline and doing what you can to get rid of debt. And then that also comes back to not letting the credit card companies win and not paying them the interest. So it is about making your own decisions, making your own choices in your life and putting money where you want to put it. There’s some groundwork that has to happen to make that happen. It happens faster than most people think. So you get that under control. And then stopping yourself from thinking, “hey, my neighbor’s just got a brand new Tacoma. I also want a brand new pickup truck or something. I’m just gonna buy it and make payments.” Okay, maybe you don’t need that. What do you actually want for your life? And organizing your life around what you actually want. You know what I mean?

Yes. Yeah, it’s something similar that I’ll talk about in our community a lot of the time, is knowing your priorities, and your family’s priorities. And when you’re really, really true, and know those, it’s a lot easier to pull yourself out of “the grass is greener on the other side” and those different comparisons. It’s like, yeah, they’re going on vacations, or they’re out and busy all the time. But for our family, maybe we like to be more laid back. Maybe we want to do home improvements. And there’s so many different examples for that. And it really just helps you overall, in so many ways when you can just get down and focus on your priorities and what truly matters to you.

Now, I think the line of credit example is exactly aligned with my priorities, because I’m pulling it from a real life experience. So I have a friend – a couple of friends actually. Well, I’m just thinking through people now, kind of at this phase where I am – I’m 36. So people in my circles, maybe have owned their places, and they bought them when they weren’t as expensive and then now they’re upgrading them. So I’ve had four friends in the last year that I know of, who have reno-ed their places with their lines of credit, and now have beautiful interiors to their home. And so when I go there, and when I see them, it makes me – this is just so honest – it makes me think like, “oh, maybe we should do something like that to our house, wouldn’t it be nice to have a brand new kitchen? Oh, isn’t it so nice that they have a really nice fridge or really nice appliances, and it looks so good.” But then when I get sucked into that, I think “oh, I want that.” And then when I pull myself out of that, and think to myself, “what do I actually want,” and I look at my goals of paying this mortgage off, that is the house I’m in right now, as fast as possible, and then taking some equity out and buying an investment property. And if I’m funneling $50,000 to $80,000, a time into renos in this current place, I’m just increasing the mortgage and increasing the mortgage. And when I look at it and think, “actually, we have everything we need,” then it makes me think, “okay, why am I being tempted? And is that really what I want?” So, considering, when you’re thinking about spending, when you’re thinking about your own money, and when you’re thinking about what really matters to you, considering your priorities, before making any sweeping decisions. It’s so tempting sometimes, when debt is cheap, especially. But if your goal is to not have a mortgage for the rest of your life, or if your goal is to use as much money as you can on credit and go on vacations, whatever your goal is. Not letting external people influence that is really what I talk about.

Yeah, it’s a really great tool to learn. And it pays off in so many different ways.

Yeah, absolutely. 

Well, I’d love to hear a little bit more about debt and kind of tackling that big huge weight that is on so many of our shoulders. So where do you begin, if you’re someone who just kind of put their head in the sand, doesn’t want to pay attention to their debt, they’re trying not to spend but also it’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of situation, but thinking they need to get control of it. What would you say is a good place to start?

Okay, so I’m not a financial adviser. However, I have tons of lived experience, and Nicole and I do money and mindset coaching. And we’ve created a course called Manifesting Money Masterclass. And, as part of that course, we work with people. And I’ll just give you the quick four step process, because this is really what we recommend. We work with people to, number 1, open your bills – well actually number one is suspend judgment, everything that happened before this very minute and time, where we’re sitting here talking to each other, everything that happened before that has already happened. There is nothing we can do, I can’t walk backwards and then it’s all of a sudden two o’clock today. Now, we can’t go backwards, we can only go forward. So the only thing we can do is what we have right now. So there’s that we have to suspend judgment. Open your bills, have a look, get a calendar, get all the bills on the calendar, that’s number 1. 

Number 2, look at your spending and say, “yeah, I freaking love wine. And I’m going to spend $300 at the liquor store a month. Great. But if I want to cut back my spending, maybe I’m gonna cut out something else like lunches out, or treats at the grocery store or whatever. And then you can also say, “how am I going to make more money – I’m actually going to put my offer out into the world and I’m going to start selling the baby sweaters that I knit.” Okay, great. So, you know, do your bills, look at your spending, figure out how you’re going to make more or how you’re going to cut things out that you don’t actually prioritize. 

And then looking at your numbers. So what are we looking at here? Like how much debt are you in, and what interest rate are you paying? And this is all – I mean, I’m just saying it now but it’s all in the course. And you can build it into the spreadsheet that we give you and figure out if you’re paying 19% interest on 19.9% on a credit card and you have $20,000 on that credit card, how much money in interest are you paying a year, do you want to continue to pay the bank that? Or can you move that to a lower interest line of credit or something like that? And then how fast can you pay that off with your new priorities? 

And then admitting that sometimes you’re going to have debt. I have a mortgage, and that debt allows me to live in this house. And so I’m working on paying it off but it’s a large amount of money and I’m not going to pay it off right now. And I still have to live, so with my money that is coming in, what am I actually saving? What am I investing, what does that look like? And I guess, as I’ve been saying this all out loud, it’s just looking at the details. Just saying “those are numbers. They’re not me, if they vanished tomorrow I would still exist, and I would still be me.” The bottom line is, you’re brave, you can do it, we can all do hard things. You can look at the numbers. 

Yes, I love all of that. And a big part of it – we can carry so much shame around all of this. And so we build up this fear, and we’re scared, and it stresses us out. And we can really turn it into a much bigger thing than it actually is. And when, like you said, when you can just accept what’s happened in the past, it’s happened, nothing’s gonna change. It’s already done. So let’s accept that and look at the numbers, what can we do? And I find when you start doing that, it might not actually be as bad as you thought. And then once you look a little bit more too, and you see like, “oh, this is how much interest I’m paying, but I can switch this around,” it starts to become empowering. And I think that’s what’s really great about going through that process.

Yeah, absolutely. Last summer, we did a few rounds of teaching this course. And we had people who – I mean, every penny counts. And we had people who called their internet providers and said, “I would like a better deal, please,” who got their cell phone bills down for their whole family. Because if you’re a family of four, you’re paying for four cell phones – that’s a lot of money on cell phones. We had people who called a mortgage broker and said, “can I have support rolling this debt into my mortgage? What could that possibly look like?” So that I’m not paying the credit card interest on this, and then removing the credit card from the situation until your spending is back on track. And yeah, we had so many people make empowering moves. And the point of it is that you’re smart, and you’re capable. And you can make this happen. If you could pack lunches every single day and make those tiny little things, cut into shapes, and figure this out. Plus, remember everything in your entire job. Plus, remember every single person’s appointment in your household. And remember the dog needs to get groomed, and also keep all the grocery lists straight. Make sure everybody’s there for pajama day and they have crazy hair. Okay, you can figure out putting your bills on a calendar and making sure they all get paid on time, step by step by step. You are smart, and you are capable. 

So one thing, I think – I love what you said, but I can also see it being a bit of an objection for some people, too. I have all this stuff going on, my mental load is already just insane. How can I add this one more thing? And I actually learned something from you guys that I really liked about it, that’s an easier way to fit it in your schedule, although I’m still working at doing it consistently, is dating your money every week for an hour. Can you tell us a bit more about that?

Yeah, you can put it in your calendar for one hour a week, I do it at 8am on Tuesdays, 8 to 9 – I call it mind my money. And I have it on my calendar, it’s green, no one can book that over in my calendar, it’s permanently blocked. And that is the time that I pay bills, I look at stocks that have great dividends. I do any kind of research that I want to do, to think or talk about money. And obviously I do money all the time. And when I talk to people about their money experience, I need more time than an hour. But that is my set aside time that no matter what that week, I’m thinking about my money. I’m making it happen with my own finances. And that’s – you may say, “oh, it’s just an hour.” But it’s actually 52 hours a year that I otherwise would not have designated to talk about my money with myself, talk to my money and say I love you, thank you, you’re providing all these great things for me, you’re a great tool, and I’m gonna make you work for me. 

Yes, I love that. It’s all the small little changes that really add up. Again, it carries on from so many parts of our life.

I have to say, the overwhelm of being a mom and keeping everything under control in my mind is real. And I listen to another podcast by Glennon Doyle, called We Can Do Hard Things. And she talks to her sister about women’s mental load and the overwhelm that comes with that, and yeah as I’m saying this I’m thinking “yeah, I am telling you to take on one more thing, or suggesting.” And the fact of the matter is this one more thing to take on really is paying yourself first. It really is looking out for yourself first. So is there something you can delegate – and instead of someone (your spouse) saying to you, “oh, I see you’re overwhelmed, how can I help?” Giving them something that they can figure out what needs to be done and how they can help themselves on that, instead of you having to think about it and then delegate the things. For example, my husband is in charge of groceries, food, cooking, and dinner – if it’s not in the house, I don’t eat it. And I’m so grateful that he takes on that task, because it’s one thing I don’t have to think about. Yes, I have to think about 8 billion other things. But I don’t have to think about what we’re going to eat, what the grocery list looks like, etc, and that is very helpful. Fully delegating that means sometimes I don’t get the exact snacks I want, let’s say, but I can ask him to get them and he will. But I also have to let go of elements of control – we’re not going to eat what I want to eat for dinner every day, but he’s really capable of doing that. 

Yeah, it’s really about talking with your partner, your support team. And also knowing that done is better than perfect. And small things, again, add up too – a lot of different households, say the mom isn’t working, or is working very part time, and they’re in charge of all those things. And that’s my situation a lot of the time. But one really small thing that made a really big difference was just telling my husband to help set the table and do that. Because it’s like, I’m cooking dinner, the kids are going crazy, like there’s so many things going on. And just having him do that one task, which had never really occurred to him before, because he’s just not in that realm of doing things, helps so much. And so when you can find those little small things that someone else, you need to communicate to them that they can take it over, it really eases your mental load. So you can free up to do these things for yourself. It’s part of your self care, really, finances are a big part of that. It’s setting yourself up to take care of yourself and live the life you want.

Absolutely. And also not be stressed out about it. Reduce your stress level. And I have a bit of a cold, so I’m just having some tea as we’re talking if anyone’s like, “what is going on.” But should we talk about sharing money?

Yes, yes, please. Because I think that’s one thing in this community, there’s so many people in different areas of the spectrum, whether the main breadwinner or aren’t bringing in any money and kind of in between.

Yeah, okay, so I can tell you what we do, and then I have a couple of other things that other people do that I’ve heard that work for them. So we share all of our money into one joint account. And that one joint account is where all of our bills get paid from, and everything goes in and out of that, both paychecks, or whenever I pay myself and when stuff gets paid. Everything goes into our joint account. We also have one credit card with the secondary credit card thing that we spend on, so we have a WestJet credit card – my family’s in Ontario, we fly a lot. Well, you know, we used to before the global pandemic. Anyway, we have a WestJet credit card. And we both spend on the last WestJet one so that we can accumulate points together. And then that’s under my name. And then we have one under Scott, because I think for credit, if you were only spending on – see I’m not an advisor, I’m just telling my experience. If we’re only spending on mine, then I think Scott’s credit gets affected, because he’s not using credit as much. And so we’ll switch over to the one that he has, and then we’ll accumulate points on the card together, with the main card and the second card, and then we’ll switch back when it’s time to fill up our WestJet points. Know what I mean? 

Yeah, that’s a great tip!

Yeah, we only use one card for spending, we do not use our debit and our credit card. This is what trips so many people up. Decide, are you spending on your debit card? And then spend on your debit car. Or are you spending on a credit card? And then spend on the credit card. And then have your cash in your bank account to pay the credit card when the credit card is due. So let’s say your cycle is the 15th of the month until the 15th of the next month. And then your bill comes to you on the fifth. Let’s say September 15 to October 15 is your spending period on your credit card, your bill comes due on November 5. Then you would take the money from your checking account and pay that on like November 2 or 3 or whatever it is, pay the credit card in full. And then you’d be on the cycle from October 15 until November 15. And then you take the money in your checking and pay that off on December 5, okay? So that basically unless you’re going to use your debit card for spending, especially if for joint spending, everything has to come out of the same thing. Otherwise, it gets so confusing. Otherwise, you’re leaking money from a credit card account. You’re leaking money from your checking account, the credit card comes to, there’s not enough money. So get everything on one card, if you’re going to share money. Any questions on that?

Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. So we do it similar with a shared credit card too. And it’s really nice to rack up those points, and it’s easier to glance over and see your spending, because you’re only looking in one place. And when it’s in a bunch of places, it’s really easy to forget about things.

Oh, yeah. And then we have a shared calendar that we put all of our bills on, I have it here – it’s really my agenda but we both know all the bills are on there. So we put them on the calendar, we can see, I do pay them, but let’s say something happens to me, Scott would be able to figure out everything if he just got this black book, it’s all in there. 

And if people – I have friends who don’t share money, so they have their paychecks going into individual accounts, and then they put a percentage of their income into a joint account, and the percentage of their income in the joint account makes up how much they pay with their bills. So let’s say the woman makes more, she would put more as a percentage into that joint account. And then the other partner would put less as a percentage in so that – because we have to be careful of inequity. If the person who’s making more is not putting as much in, or let’s say everyone’s putting 30% into the joint account, but that person’s making more, and they have so much more money left, and then the other person in the relationship is living at a different level than the person who makes more money. So at times, it’s not especially fair. And having a conversation about how you can make your standard of living the same in a committed relationship and make it fair is an important conversation to have.

Absolutely. It’s not just about splitting things equally amongst people, it’s splitting it kind of equally for your lifestyles, and you’re contributing into the same pot, somewhat, and kind of taking out. So you doing a percentage wise based on what you’re bringing in, I think it’s a great way of doing it. I’ve also heard of some people that know one person’s making more than the other, and so that person is in charge of the mortgage and exterior things that need to get done. And then the person that’s making less can be in charge of groceries and the internet bill and that sort of thing, too, which can be a simple way to do it, where you don’t have to kind of move money around, that person could just always be in charge of those bills, and there’s no forgetting too.

Yeah, I think you make a great point. Whoever is in charge of something makes things so much easier than if both people are in charge, in a business, even in a relationship. If two people are in charge of the same thing, it rarely gets done. If one person is in charge of that, then they can take responsibility and make it happen on their own terms.

Yeah, exactly. It’s easy for things to get forgotten when there’s too many people on it. It’s just like watching kids around water. I always think of it too, when there’s a bunch of adults around kids around water. It’s really easy to just assume someone else’s watching. And so you need to make sure you have the designated person who is for sure in charge of it and handing that off.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that’s a terrifying thought. 

Yeah, that’s one of my intrusive thoughts with motherhood, is water. But the principle of it carries over to other things. 

It’s the same principle. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I have a question for you. What is something taboo about money that we haven’t talked about yet? It’s hard for me because I don’t think money is taboo, so I’m like, “I don’t know, what are we gonna talk about? It’s all exciting to me.”

Yeah. See, for me, that’s the really big one. That just is the monkey on your back. really holds over you. I guess another one could be spending big amounts of money on things that you like, because that can get a lot of judgment from family and friends too.

Oh, yeah. The old “must be nice.” I heard someone say that today – I was like “have I taught you nothing?” No, don’t worry. I called them out on it. Yeah, that’s absolutely true. The phrase “must be nice,” or “oh, of course they have that, they have lots of money.” And when everyone, you know, especially with family stuff, when people get into the judgmental mindset, it takes away from – let’s just say, me being judgmental of someone in my family for having something I don’t takes away from my personal happiness. It doesn’t do anything to them. They have – I mean, maybe it’ll make them upset too. But let’s say they don’t know, they have the thing, they’re happy. And here I am being upset, and I’m doing it to myself. So there’s that example. 

And then there’s the shaming example of when you go up to them and say, “oh, must be nice to have such a nice car” or “must be nice to have the best car seat for your kids.” Someone said that to me the other day, “oh, must be nice to have such a fancy car seat.” I’m like, “okay, thanks. What shall I say back to that?” And it’s unhelpful. So if you’re listening to this, and you hear yourself saying “must be nice,” maybe consider where that’s coming from, what that is saying? Is that something that you want? Or is that just “must be nice” masking something that you want? And if it is, is there a way to arrange your priority,so you can have that? Is there a way to make more money so that that’s accessible? And if that truly isn’t what you want, and it’s a knee jerk reaction, is there a way to switch that to positive thought of, “oh, that has nothing to do with me and I see that they’re happy. How pleasant?”

Now, what if you’re like you who was on the receiving end of those comments, how do you kind of deal with those? 

I know, it’s not very nice.

No, especially when it’s someone that you care about too, which oftentimes it can be.

Yeah, it makes you feel ashamed about something that you have that maybe you were previously proud of. And now you’re feeling like, “oh.” Yeah, I suppose you could say that’s not a very nice thing to say. I have a one year old, so I haven’t really dealt with people telling her things, but if they had, what do you tell your kids to say if someone says something rude to them?

Just say, “that’s mean,” or “stop.”

“Must be nice to have a carseat.” – “Stop!”

We’re still kind of working on that, because they’re two and three and just becoming more verbal. Yeah, they’re still little. Normally situations are around mean kids at the playground. And so if someone’s throwing wood chips in your face, you need to yell “stop!”

It’s kind of the same thing. Okay. That’s not a very nice comment. Or, you know, oftentimes, I don’t know if this is the right answer or not. Maybe we can get some people in the comments here, what they would do. But oftentimes, my mom always says, “oh, they’re just jealous.” So I kind of had that floating around in my head. And then you kind of have to ignore it at that point. You could call them out and say, “that doesn’t make me feel good when you say that,” if you are a boundary boss. We need the comments. We need people in the comments telling us what to do. And if you’re a boundary boss, I give you many props.

Yes! And it’s also just really having confidence in your decision. Like yeah, I did buy that. I worked hard for it. I wanted it. Yeah, that’s okay.

Yeah, it’s fine. Great. Please move on with your comments.

Now, another thing I know, is a really big thing for moms, and even myself, I struggle even now, it kind of goes up and down, and that’s spending money on ourselves. Which is a big mindset shift to get over because it feels like we need to give and give and make sure everyone else is taken care of. And I know, it’s really silly, I catch myself doing it all the time. When it comes to bathroom shower products, even. I am on top of refilling it for everyone else in the family. But when my body wash is getting low, I’ll start to use my husband’s and like, “oh, I’ll add it to the grocery list later.” And that kind of carries over a similar mindset. We get our kids new clothes, new school year, but many people are still wearing nursing bras from their pregnancy two years ago.

Mm hmm. I guess the question is, I actually had this revelation with a coach I was working with. We were talking about boundaries, and she was saying “does doing something for yourself – when other people do things for themselves, does that make them selfish?” When they don’t do something for someone and they do it for themselves, does that make them selfish? And I was thinking about if someone walks in the door and doesn’t hold it for you, is that rude? Or if someone prioritizes, “I’m gonna get my hair done, and you can set up yours on your own.” Does that make them rude or selfish? 

Ultimately, you are in charge of you. Other people are in charge of themselves. And if you want something for you, and you have to choose between disappointing someone else, and disappointing yourself, as Glennon Doyle says (really referencing her a lot today) you have to choose to disappoint the other person, you cannot disappoint yourself. And that really is deep with values that kind of maybe could go beyond, let’s say, getting a manicure. But if you feel really good, taking the time for yourself to get a manicure, every time you look at your nails you’re like, “I’m so on it. Look at my nails, they look beautiful, these colors make me so happy. And I love them, my hands look good. I feel so confident when I’m typing when my hands look good. And I go to meetings and people say nice nail polish. And I’m just like, yeah, I have nice nail polish.” Okay, let’s say you love manicures like I do. And you deprive yourself of a manicure because you could save that $32 every month and put it towards something long term or whatever. You need to go back to basics and say, “what do you need to feel good about yourself? What makes you feel happy in your heart? And is it possible to give yourself a little sliver of happiness, once a day, once a week, please more than once a month. And does it really matter?” If the $32 is an issue, can you increase your income so that the $32 is available? Is there a way to make this possible so that you can actually take time to just have some alone time? Rejuvenate. Is it possible? I’m on a tangent. What do you think?

Yes. No, I totally agree.

I really need a manicure, can you tell?

I’ve actually gotten really into nail strips lately. They’re super easy to do. You don’t have to worry about drying time, which is great when you’re around kids because you’re not just gonna sit not touching anything for a half hour. Yeah, yeah, they’re really handy. 

What are they?

They’re Color Street. I am thinking of selling them because I like them so much. So maybe by the time this is out we’ll have a link for you. But they’re just super easy. They’re little strips, they’re already shaped. There’s a bunch of sizes and you just pop it on and peel it back. File the edge because they’re super long, so it can fit anyone, and then boom, you’re done. So easy.

Okay, okay. Okay, we stuck with this. Okay. I love it. We definitely need to talk more about this after.

But it is really about finding the ways that you can bring joy into your life, and small little things, and know that you deserve it just as much as everyone else in your family. Just because you’re mom, doesn’t mean you’re on the backburner. Many of us put ourselves there. But we don’t need to be there. We deserve those things just as much as everyone else. And I think a lot of people, a lot of moms have trouble because they might not actually be bringing in the income. And so there can be guilt around that, like, “oh, I’m spending money I’m not actually making” and that sort of thing. But when you were the primary caregiver, and you’re doing that, that’s work. You’re saving your family from spending a bunch of money on daycare, and you deserve payment and joy and little things like that for your work.

Yes, you need to take a stand for all women in humanity and say, “I am treating myself and taking care of myself to show my kids as an example that moms work hard and it matters.” And yes, we are always here – if you need help, call us, we’ll tell you what to say!

Yes. Well, I think that is a really great positive note to leave things on. I would like to ask for someone in the very beginning stage of taking control of their finances. Do you have any tips on where to look for resources? I know you guys are a great resource. And are there any books or anything like that? Tell us all about it!

Okay, We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachael Rogers. So good. You need to get it right now. If you’re at the point where you’re curious at all about investing, and you’re Canadian, you can read Beat the Bank by Larry Bates. It’s such a great book about success – he calls it simply successful investing for Canadians. It’s so simple. And it’s like, “Larry, you have outdone yourself.” It’s so entertaining, I love the book, I’ve read it multiple times. Everyone I work with I’m like, “get Beat the Bank, report back to me when you read it.” Another money book I love is by Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass at Making Money

And come to My Aligned Purpose. We have manifesting money masterclasses, which is basics basic basics. And then in the most loving way possible of saying, this is how you get organized with your money and make big changes. And we also have a membership called Coffee Club, and we support women entrepreneurs. So if you’re like, “ooh, I’m ready to make more money. Let’s do it.” Then come join us. We’re here to support. 

I love the energy that’s in it, it’s awesome. And everyone’s in there sharing their wins and the different things they’re working on. And even if you fall off track, it’s just super motivating and helps keep you in check and kind of brings you back in to help refocus you too.

We are so happy you’re in it. And thank you Jannine.

Yeah, thank you so much. I’ll add all the things we talked about in the notes below.

Thanks for coming and checking out our interview with Kaila! If you’re interested in knowing more about her, make sure to check out My Aligned Purpose, where Kaila and her partner Nicole can teach you everything finance! As always, make sure to join our UM Club Hangouts to keep up to date on everything that’s happening, and have a great week!